“The Room” Easy DIY Drinking Game

The Room Cast

“The Room” is one of the finest examples of post-modern filming in the last decade. Like most examples of post-modern artwork, understanding it requires one to relinquish any conventions of cinema. Tommy Wiesau relinquishes many such as good acting, comprehensible dialogue and believable characters. The end result is a piece of cinema that questions the notions of film as an effective narrative medium and challenges the Hollywood film industry through its unrelenting rejection of so called “good” filmmaking.

Unfortunately, none of this is true. “The Room” is genius, but for all the wrong reasons. I’m sure that if presented as a piece of modern art it would win fawning platitudes from art critics, but it isn’t this, nor does it try to be. As a film is misses the mark so wide it has basically done a 360 and shot the audience in the face in a heavy drizzle of shit. Turns out though, that shit is actually chocolate, a chocolate best enjoyed if mixed with alcohol. So I suggest the following drinking game, which will make you laugh at breast cancer, suicide and an overweight moving waxwork of Britney Spears.

Best of all, it’s not complicated or expensive, so getting on the drunk train to destination liver failure couldn’t be easier.

RULES:

No. of players: At least three people

Play with 4 cans of beer each or a bottle of rum, vodka or whiskey each

  • 1 Drink every time there is a long shot of San Francisco
  •  1 Drink every time characters refer to each other by name
  •  1 Drink at the beginning of a sex scene
  •  1 Drink at the end of every sex scene
  •  1 Drink every time a character sits down and stands up again
  • 1 Drink every time a character says what they feel
  • 1 Drink anytime the door is opened and closed
  •  Any verbal expression of confusion regarding the set, the characters, the scenes, the continuity, the facial hair, the costume, the plot and the film as a whole must result in everyone drinking

By the end of the film everyone should be pissed and quoting the script between your friends for the rest of your lives, and if you don’t, you’re really tearing me apart.

EDIT: If after you want to expand your experience of the film, you can play this game which faithfully recreates it in 8-bit pixels. Wether or not you think this is a good thing however depends on your levels of masochism, as playing it could be regarded as cerebral self harm by some.

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